I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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