Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I did not marry a roomba.
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