are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
