on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
