Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
