do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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