i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
