Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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