All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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