porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
