She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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