he shaved USA in his pubs
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
