The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize