Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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