Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
