Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
