Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
