More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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