last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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