i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
