I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
