i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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