the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize