Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
