How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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