We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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