Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
