when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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