Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no, he came in my armpit
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
