Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize