Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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