its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
