needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
