I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
