6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
