I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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