Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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