I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
