my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
