I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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