im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize