I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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