you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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