Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
God, I missed his penis.
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