I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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