I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize