Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
