Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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