I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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