so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
