You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
