My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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