oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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