we made out on top of his cat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
