Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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