you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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