so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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