I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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