she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
