I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
