Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
