Who wears a wallet chain?!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
why is half of my head shaved?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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