Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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