I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize