what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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